woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Randomize
