Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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