There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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