Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
