Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
too bad you live with your parents still
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I just forgot I was standing up.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
