90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Girls should come with a carfax report
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
