some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
