I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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