Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
did you just send me my own nude
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
