So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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