Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize