I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
