So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
