I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
