Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
