He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize