She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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