he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
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