ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
