It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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