; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
