No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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