dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
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