Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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