the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
