sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
