so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
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