flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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