The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
