And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
