you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
