Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Randomize
