I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Randomize
