It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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