I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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