I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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