i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
