Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
and you fell through a lawn chair
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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