i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
this just has baby written all over it
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
