I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
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