He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
