im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
