So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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