I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
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