it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
