That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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