Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
