Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
