yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
