my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
