Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
You took a bar mat shot.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Randomize
