oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Randomize