i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
