so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
