grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
