What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
