I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
