I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Holy shit dude........stairs
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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