You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
