i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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